[girl, where you been: a brief update]

Hello, friends. It’s been awhile since I posted an essay. Clearly I’m behind on my #52essays, but you may understand why without much explanation. I will admit that I attempted to challenge myself to write about a difficult experience for Week 2 that I’ve struggled to write about for months, I am still unable to complete that essay, and I need to allow myself to be okay with not being ready to share this just yet.

I’ve been remotely involved in a number of fights for social justice in recent weeks, in two instances preparing to join my friends at the frontlines, but maybe it was a sign from God that I was not mentally prepared to be physically present. I’ve accepted that, for now, my role is to be a support and resource for my friends, offer safe/healing spaces, to check in with people every so often, to keep tabs on news updates when possible, to provide food/water, and to remain vigilant. Until I manage my anxiety (which I know has increased for most of us, but I know a number of folks like myself have always operated with higher levels at baseline) and become compliant with my PT knee exercises again, I am essentially dead weight on the ground. In light of recent events, I must refocus my intended essay topics and content as well.

My return will be soon, my friends, soon. As usual, I look forward to all of your essays in the meantime.